You know what I've been thinking about? that asshole Roger Ebert that fuck head has been reviewing movies for a long time now. What kind of fucking job is that anyway? what the fuck kind of talent does it take to review a fucking movie and make tons of cash for doing nothing? fuck you anyways I decided to take some of his best (fake) comments from his movies and put them here for all to read you can thank me later so lets get on with the comments!

My ass was sore from just watching it! (Brokeback Mountain)

this movie is so gay even the gay people are starting to complain! (also broke back mountain)

I use this movie to masturbate to.....you're sick Roget Ebert! (The War Zone)

Incest is the best put your family to the test! (also the war zone)

That scene when chloe gets boned when she is passed out is one of the hottest scenes ever (Kids)

A cinematic achievment this will change the way films will be made forever (Bloodrayne)

It's a Jew killing good time! (Schindlers list)

AHHHH HELP ME SNAKES THEY'RE EVERYWHERE STOP AHHHH GET THE MARTIANS AWAY FROM ME! (not sure)

Torturing people to death is cool especially if it's Jesus! (Passion of the christ)

If I were to torture somone to death this is the way I would do it! (also Passion of the christ)

Oh man this pot is fucking me up man where the fuck am i man? just what the fuck did you do to me! I'll kill you fucking kill you, do you hear me?! (titanic)

so there you have it some reviews from a stupid fucking movie reviewer who gets paid to talk about his fucking oppinions no one cares about